you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
