the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize