Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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