Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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