Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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