You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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