and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
