so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize