Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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