you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
