I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
