I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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