Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sorry about my life...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
