I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
