just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize