Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
