oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
