i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
