you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
