Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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