I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
