: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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