I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
