You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Oh god it's open bar.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
