Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
