maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
