somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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