so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
