so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
