So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
