doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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