Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize