i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize