wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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