I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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