everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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