Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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