Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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