Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
