At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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