Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
