Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize