from now on my penis is your penis
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
