That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
