Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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