I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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