hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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