He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize