a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
