we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
