Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
