i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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