This girl is more easily done than said...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
