If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize