She said her name was "party"
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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