but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
