I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
