the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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