i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
