I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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