there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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