Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
