I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
