I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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