In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
