My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize