it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
