I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
