3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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