My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
