Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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