I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
