I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
