there's paper in my vomit.
I don't think brook has ever known best
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
