Can i not drive my cunt home
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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