wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
