Nicole vs. Life
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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