we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
