shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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