Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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