I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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