so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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