Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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